Friday, January 22, 2010

Such a Problem!

I have a problem!  I can't get everything done in a day that I have told myself I need to do.  I don't think it's that I do that much.  I really am coming to realize that the problem is me.  I'm so slow at everything I do.  Yes, time is an issue.  There just isn't enough of it.  Here's the real problem.  And I hate to throw these terms out there because they are overused and abused and not really understood.  But I think I have ADD and OCD, and I'm a perfectionist.  There has been much discussion in our family lately about the tendancy in our family to be blessed with these conditions.  I always felt I had OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), but I am starting to think I also have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).  But doesn't everyone have a little bit of both of these conditions?  Isn't everyone like this?  Honestly, I think the answer is  "no". 
Here's an example:  In helping Melissa clean and decorate their new home for the past two days I had a list of things we wanted to get done in two days.  It was a very do-able list.

 But this is what I do:  I start to install the curtain rods on the first of two windows in the boys' play room.  Should only take about ten minutes to screw in four brackets.  Then I notice that the windows are filthy.  I get down off the step stool, find the windex and clean the windows.  Then I notice the curtains we are going to hang are ones that were previously hanging in the boys' old bedroom.  They haven't been washed, ever.  So I throw those into the washing machine.  OK, now back to the windows.  The inside of the glass is clean (the outside will have to wait until spring), but the window frames and sills are filthy, which I discovered while cleaning the glass.  They aren't just dirty, they are old and should be replaced, but I can only do so much.  Back down off the step stool and get the pledge and Old English.  If you have never used Old English to shine up wood and cover scratches, you need to get it.  It can make old, scratched, dull wood shine and look like the pretty antique that it is.  OK, got that done.  Then continue with the brackets. Oh shoot!  I put the first one up backwards.  Now I need another cup of coffee.  I go into the kitchen and notice there are some sticky spots on the floor.  I have to clean the floor before I can get my cup of coffee.

 Ten minutes later, OK, now take a few sips of coffee and back up on the step stool and finish putting up the brackets.  Throw the curtains in the dryer just for about five minutes, get them on the curtain rods, hang the rods up, adjust the curtain so they hang right,

 set the TV stand and TV back in place, notice that the TV is dusty and a knob needs fixed on the TV stand.  You got it! have to dust the TV and fix the knob.  Need to vacuum the floor after making all the mess from the window project, but we're starving and decide to take a break and go to lunch.
That's just one example of how I do things.  A ten minute job takes me two hours.  It's done right, but could it have been done right without taking so long?  If so, I don't know how. 
Today I'm back home and on my list for today is laundry, finish sewing buttons on new knitted neckwarmer and get it listed on Etsy, check all the e-mails since I haven't been home for two days, get started on bookkeeping for 2009 taxes, clean the foyer floor, and wash my hair.  So while blogging about it all, it's almost 3:00, and I got 3 of the 4 loads of laundry done, checked the e-mails but got totally distracted by an HGTV e-mail that I had to look into, washed my hair (which led to cleaning the bathroom), picked out buttons for the neckwarmer (that took a while), got some 2009 receipts put in a pile but got distracted and had to clean the file drawer, fixed some lunch and then had to clean the kitchen, and My Bob keeps talking to me.  I don't have time to listen or talk back. 
So do you see my problem?  I am not going to get everything done on my list and I wish I could just say, "Oh well", but instead I get very anxious.  One thing I have started making myself do is to stop it all at 8:00 at night, no matter what is left hanging on my list, and I go to my sewing room and relax.  And by relax, I mean knit, sew, make a pincushion, do something creative and fun while I watch TV. 
Now tomorrow, Austin and Melissa and boys are coming up to finish cleaning out the old house and get it ready to rent and/or sell.  Of course I'll help.  I already promised the boys I'd make mac 'n cheese and bake chocolate chip cookies.  Then I'll help with the cleaning. 
But you know what?  I'm well aware that my problem is a good one and I'm lucky to have this problem.  I'm not living in a city destroyed by an earthquake.  I have a beautiful, healthy family that loves me and wants to be with me.  I'm not homeless and in need of food or shelter.  I'm so grateful to be who I am.  So I'll deal with my fortunate problems.


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