Friday, November 13, 2009

It's a Birthday and I'll Cry if I Want To!

I don't get down or depressed too often, but today I am a little bit.   I really have no reason to.  I'll get over it quick.  My feelings have just been hurt by my girlfriends.  I thought they were my best friends.  I'm probably blowing it way out of proportion and I'm going to be the bigger person about this, but my feelings are still hurt and I'm feeling a little sorry for myself.  Here's what happened and maybe some of you can help me look at this in a different light. (I'm going to use initials for names)
My birthday is next week and my very good girlfriend's birthday is the week after.  There is a group of five of us  "girls" that have been friends  for about 20 years.  We all became good friends when our kids all started the same school together about the same time.  Our kids now range in age from 18 to 33.  Over the years we have tried to celebrate most major birthdays, you know 40, 50, and now Ch's. 60th is in two weeks.  Over the years we would sit at the pool with all of our kids in the summer.  We all took skiing lessons together years ago.  We all took golf lessons together.  We would get together every Friday after work for wine.  We still try to do that on Friday's once in a while, but not near as much.   Now everyone's life has shifted slightly in one way or another with children getting married and grandchildren and some of us no longer work outside the home and some of us have gone back to work after years of staying home.  But we have all remained very good friends and talk and get together as much as we can.
Yesterday I was getting a pedicure and my friend, the manicurist, who also does the nails of one of the friends I'm talking about (keep in mind, this is a very small town) asked when we were leaving for Pittsburgh (100 miles south of us).  I told her I didn't know what she was talking about.  Then she didn't know what to say but I made her spill the beans.  I could tell by the look on her face that she now knew she said something she shouldn't have.  So she told me.  C. was in getting her nails done and told D., my manicurist (I only get my toes done about four times a year) that "the girls" were going to Pittsburgh on Friday night (tonight) to spend the night to celebrate Ch.'s 60th birthday.  Well, everyone in town knows who that group of "girls" would be and it usually includes me.  I knew nothing about it.  I was shocked and came home and called P., one of the other "girls".  Now P. is in Pittsburgh already because she travels for her work.  She hesitated when I asked her about it and I told her I wasn't angry mad, my feelings were just very hurt and I didn't understand.  P. told me that it was just one of those things that evolved into something other than what it started out to be.  C. wanted to take Ch. to Pittsburgh to dinner and shopping as a birthday present.  Then she found out that P. was there working, so she called her and told her she should plan on staying an extra day to go with them.  Then it was found out that F. was taking her mother back home to Pittsburgh today, so they called her with the same invite.  That's how the four of them ended up getting together tonight in Pittsburgh, so P. says.  I believe her and it's very possible that's what happened, but I have talked to Ch. almost every day this week and she never mentioned a word to me.  I didn't even care not being asked because I don't really feel like going to Pittsburgh, but why didn't they even tell me?
As Dr. Joy Brown would say, be cheerful and stupid, and just act like it doesn't matter and it doesn't affect you at all.  And that is exactly how I'll act and talk to them next time I see them, but my feelings are still hurt.
I hate when women, especially mature women, get catty and I won't be like that, but I've cried to myself a few times today.  My Bob doesn't get this kind of thing and he's almost mad at me for being like this.
The only thing I did do, just because I had to do something, was send an e-mail to the four of them and said that I hoped they had a nice evening in Pittsburgh and I would talk to them next week.  I wasn't mean or nasty ---but I hope they feel bad.
Thanks to all of you good friends out there for listening to my sad story - Ha!Ha! , I know it's no big deal - but I had to talk about it.   One more reason to blog. (See yesterday's post)


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