Thursday, April 30, 2009

Why Do I Commit to Things?

I had a jewelry party last night. Now I have to say that it turned out very nice, saw some people I hadn't seen for a while, and I had a good time. But, for a week I was yelling at myself for making this commitment about a month ago to host this party. We were in San Antonio last week and had a wonderful, relaxing time, and my thoughts kepts interrupting my day with flashes of having to get ready for this party when I got home. Then when we got home, I was so tired. Travelling used to be fun, not it's a pain and hassle. - Just the actual getting there and getting back part. - The being in a different place I thoroughly enjoy. Anyway, I was so tired and again, those nagging thoughts kept popping into my head that I needed to clean my house, get a few groceries and cook a few things. Now, I love doing all of those things normally, but not when I'm on a deadline and have to get them done by a specified time. I like to do things when I want to do them. I don't like to be pressured. So now by yesterday morning I was really feeling pressured and thinking to myself, "Why am I having this dumb jewelry party? I just got back from Texas and Sunday is the baby shower for my daughter-in-law, I didn't need this right now."
So is this a lesson for me to not commit myself to things, or is it a lesson on loosening up a little bit and just take it as it comes and enjoy the ride? Probably both. At my age and place in life right now I have admittedly become a little spoiled in that I only want to do what I want and when I want and want to be able to change my mind if I feel like it. On the other hand, I had a very good time last night and actually talked and visited with friends. I've recently become a little bit of a recluse because of the hobbies I enjoy. This old party girl isn't so much into parties anymore, and am much happier being quiet and alone with my authentic self. So balance, and loosening up just a little, seems to be the lesson learned.
Who knew such a lesson could be learned by having a jewelry party?
BTW - got a real pretty necklace! Lia Sophia jewelry.


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