Thursday, October 21, 2010

Baby Sitting Limits

The Sunday that Grandpa died I had my son here with his three kids and two dogs.  Keeping in mind that we still have my nephew Kyle here. (More later on the “Kyle Project”).  I  was tired, emotional and needed some time to myself.  As Austin put it, I kind of “lost it”.  In looking back, I think that was a good thing, because some changes needed to be made.  I had a talk with my son and told him I just could not have both of his dogs at my house for more than a few hours, along with the kids,  especially when they are not here with them.  I also made it clear that after the next three baby sitting commitments I already agreed to, it really had to slow down.  I love the grandchildren to death, and they are a huge part of my life, but I just need to have more time to take care of my own house, work and hobbies.  In writing this it’s even sounding selfish to me, but I just want to be Grandma, not a parent again.  There’s a reason why I only had two children and had them in my early 20’s! 
So at this point I have been to their house for almost two weeks in the past month.  Then we had a week of out of town family and funeral arrangements going on.  Two days after the funeral and the day after all the family left, I was back down to their house to  take care of the three grands and two dogs by myself for four days.  If this were an occurrence a few times a year, I would enjoy it.  Three times in a month is just too much for me. 
Now this weekend my son and DIL are off to a family wedding in Maryland.  They are taking the baby, so Bob and I are picking the boys up tomorrow and bringing them to our house until Sunday.  They told me they are making arrangements for the dogs, so I hope they did.
Things are slowing down a little bit, but it’s still something we’re all working on.  On Sunday, Bob is taking the boys back home, then he is continuing on to Cincinnati with Kyle to take him back home.  The Kyle Project didn’t work out as completely planned, but some progress was made. (Again, more on that in a later post).  Bob and I just know that we’ve done all we can and we’re done taking care of others so much.   My son and DIL also agree with us in slowing down their lives, which in turn will calm us all down.
Next Sunday is the start of some time for us.  It’s a Las Vegas trip that we’re really looking forward to.  Then one more prior babysitting commitment the day after we get back.  Four more days of me back to the kids while their parents go to a retirement party in Virginia. 
We’re all looking forward to the Holidays after that and son and DIL also agree that they need to stay home more, get rid of at least one dog, and slow down a little.  They have quite enough going on with three small children and their own jobs.  They need to stop taking on extra trips and activities.
Chaos and I just do not get along!  I HAVE to have order, plans and organization.  I’m not real sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it works for me and makes me happy.
That’s the new plan.  We’ll see how it works! 
Nina

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