Life is a Series of Ups and Downs

Life is just so fickle, isn't it?  One day can be so good, and the next day, not so much.  I remember when I was a little girl, I used to keep a daily diary.  Each day I would start off the entry with, "Today was a good day", or "Today was a terrible day".  I guess the good thing that tells is that if you're having a bad day, don't get too down about it, because it will change.  Well, that's how the past three days have been for me.
Sunday was a great day.  It was a beautiful autumn day.

 The colors outside were so pretty and the temperature was cool, which made it feel even warmer and cozier inside.  I got up early to start preparing lunch for the whole family:  Austin, Melissa and the boys, Dee and Riley, and Mom and Dad.  Austin and his family had not had a chance to see their new little niece and cousin  (Riley) since she's been in town.  I was so happy making two pans of lasagna, homemade pear crisp from  pears off the tree in the front yard, salad, garlic bread and apple cider.  Everyone showed up between 12:30 and 1:00, after church.  I would have gone to church, but I needed the time to cook.
We had a wonderful afternoon.  Everyone taking turns holding Riley.  She is such a sweet baby doll.

Mom and Dad with Riley

Dad with his 3 great-grandchildren

The boys are so funny.  They come up with the darndest things.  Logan wanted to know if Riley would turn into a little boy when she got older so he could play with him.  Oh my gosh!  That was so cute!

Melissa and Dee (DIL's)

Dee and Riley then left for Pittsburgh to her parents house for a few days.  Now she's back in town for two days until we leave for Cincinnati to my brother's house for a big Oktoberfest Party that he and his wife are having.  It will be fun.  More on that later.

It was a great family Sunday.  And I'll hold onto that, because Monday was not so pleasant. 

It was a good news/bad news thing.  The bad news far outweighing the good. 

Our accountant called and told us that because our income was up we have to come up with a lot (I mean a lot) more money that we owe in taxes.  My Bob is just in the worst mood now.  He's ranting and raving about taxes, the IRS, the crooks in Washington, and on and on.  He'll get this out of his system and will eventually be fine, but right now he's a bear to be around.  I don't blame him and I feel his stress.  We live a nice life, but in no way an extravagant one.  Being self employed just comes with it's own issues.  He works so hard and then he almost feels punished for all his hard work.  He's rambling now that he's just going to go live out in the woods in a tent and not have to deal with this stuff.  OH My Gosh!  He'll calm down, but I almost wish he would go into the woods for a few days.  I feel like I need to help somehow, but how?  I'm trying to offer any help in the way of support.  Then I feel like I should go out and find a "real" job.  But I work now for our business, so that would suffer if I wasn't here doing it.  I just don't get a pay check or any money that you can actually see. 

Today My Bob is busy with work and then decided to go downstairs to lift weights.  I hope that helps just a little.  But as I said earlier, things will change and I know we'll go back to being the happy family of a few days ago. 

Reading and Modeling Past Age 50

I just finished reading a very good book last night.  For those that know me, I don't sit and just read during the day.  I have too many other things going on and I'm not real good at just sitting.  I read every night, though.  As I've aged, I don't fall asleep easily. I took a Tylenol PM every night for a couple of years, but I  quit taking it about six months ago because I thought it was making me too drowsy the next morning, so I have taken up reading in bed before I go to sleep.  A book sits right next to my bed with my little reading light attached and I read until my eyes just won't stay open.  The book I just finished last night was "Lost In The Forest" by Sue Miller.

I thought it was very well written.  The story was good, but almost secondary to the writing style and the way Sue Miller has of putting words together.  She's an excellent story teller.  The story is about a young teenage girl whose parents are divorced and her stepfather whom she was very close to was just killed.  The struggles then that she goes through in her teen years as she searches for a father figure and falls prey to an older, married man.  She eventually falls back into a father/daughter relationship with her real, biological father. 

The book I'm starting tonight is "Me & Emma" by Elizabeth Flock.  I believe it came out in 2006, but it was recommended to me recently by a good friend.

Now an update on the fashion show last night.  The turnout was good, but I've clearly decided that I'm not going to model for it anymore.  It just was not fun and exciting like it used to be.  The clothes were nice and I suffered through doing my hair and make-up, which I just don't like fussing over any more, and I looked good enough, but I'm just done with it.  Been There, Done That.  As my cousin said to me today, "If it's not fun anymore, it's time to move on and quit doing it.  Life is too short".  I agree with that thinking totally.  I'll find some other way to support and contribute to the good cause.  In this case it was for our local Free Health Clinic. 
At age 50, two years ago, I started saying "no" to a lot of things that I used to say "yes" to out of a feeling of obligation, guilt, not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, what have you.  I have thankfully learned that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do.  Don't get me wrong, if it's something I need to do for any of my family or a loved one, and somebody really needs my help, I will do whatever I can.  But these charity, volunteer things, I can pick and choose to do, or not do, whatever I want.
I love being 52, I truly do!  Such a liberation.  For any woman under 50 and dreading the thought of aging, DON'T.  Stay healthy and age gracefully.  Life gets better.  We should be proud of each and every wrinkle, sag and bag, not ashamed of them.  We've earned them. 

Grandchildren, Grandma, and Great Great Grandparents

I'll start with an update:  Logan is home from the hospital and doing well.  He seems to be back to his normal, active self.  We're so glad for that. 
Melissa is done working.  She'll be staying home with the boys now.  They both go to pre-school mornings only, so that will give her a little break each day.  I remember when my two boys were little and I always thought it was easier going to work than staying home.  But my boys loved for me to be home.  Even once they were in school all day, they liked when I was home when they got off the bus.   I do remember that it was a very busy time in our lives.  I was fortunate that we had our own business, so my schedule was very flexible. I hope she does well.
Yesterday, Dee, Baby Riley, Dee's grandmother, and I went to the Nursing Home to visit Grandma and Grandpa.  They were so excited to see Riley.  Grandpa is doing great.  He loved holding Riley and talking to her.  He is her great-great grandpa, but he gets confused and kept referring to himself as her Uncle.  I would correct and remind him, but then five minutes later he would forget again.  Grandpa will be 94 on October 28.

Now Grandma is another story.  She was sleeping when we got there.  As soon as she woke up and saw we were there with the baby her face lit up and she wanted to get up into her chair.  She's not strong enough to hold Riley, so I sat next to her with Riley on my lap so that she could touch her.  Grandma can't see, and just recently she has lost her voice completely.  She also keeps losing weight and now weighs only 63 pounds.  But her mind is good.  She wants to say things and can't.  It must feel like she's living in hell.  It makes me so sad and I feel so sorry for her.  She kept wanting to tell me something and there was no way I knew what it was.  I know it was something about Riley or Dee or maybe a question about Brandon (Riley's dad, my son).  So I tried to explain everything to her as complete as I could with the hope that I was answering her un-asked question.

So here I am with my grandmother and my granddaughter.  Pretty amazing when you think about it.  The Circle of Life in extreme.  The one end of the circle is so sad and the other so joyous. 

I won't be seeing Riley today.  She and Dee are staying at Dee's grandmother's  and tonight Dee goes to the wedding rehearsal dinner.  I'm also in a fashion show tonight and I  wish I wasn't.  It's a benefit for the local Free Clinic and is a very good cause.  They ask me every year to model and I've done it for probably six years in a row.  But I'm honestly just not into it any more.  The clothes are nice and it's fun once I get there.  I just don't feel like doing all the hair and makeup.  I'm thinking right now that I will decline this little job next year.  I'd rather be home with grandchildren, or husband, or knitting and sewing.  I guess I'm getting old --- and loving it!  I just don't want to get as old as Grandma (93) if that's the condition I would be in.

Grandkids R Us

I have to make this quick because it's getting past my allotted blogging time and besides, I'm tired.  I'll give a real quick overview, mostly for my own benefit, so I don't forget what's been going on all week in my life.  Then I'll get back with more in depth coverage and details when I have more time.
Saturday - had a great day.  My Bob and I went to the last flea market of the season.  Got tea cups  for making my pin cushions.  See my other blog for details on this that I'll be posting hopefully tomorrow.
Sunday, Austin and the boys came over for lunch.  Sunday night, Logan started with a bad cough at home, was up all night, which meant the whole house was up all night, and Melissa took him to the emergency room Monday morning because he couldn't seem to catch his breath. 
Monday morning at 7:00, Austin called and woke us up to ask if I could come and pick up Landen after explaining about Logan.  Austin had to get to work.  Of course I ran (drove)right in (5 miles away) and Landen stayed with us until Tuesday morning when Bob took him to pre-school.  We didn't take him to school yesterday.  He's only 3, no harm done.
Logan seems to be having some asthma problems and his oxygen levels won't stay up.  He finally went home this afternoon with an antibiotic, breathing treatment equipment and a steroid prescription.  My son, Brandon, had these same issues when he was a little boy.
Then today at 2:00, Dee, other DIL, and Baby Riley finally got into town from Spokane.  Dee came back home for a wedding that she's in.  They'll be in town for a week and a half, but she has so many people to see and places to go that I'm afraid I won't see Riley very much.  I could just hold her and stare at her non-stop.  She's so cute, and so chubby.  She looks so different and it's only been two months since they moved and since I've seen her.  Still no hair, but the peach fuzz is strawberry blond and her eyes are still bright blue.  I'll get pictures up tomorrow, hopefully. 
I'm sure there's more that went on this week, but I can't think right now .  I'm going to go upstairs and either make a pincushion or knit.  Check my other site and Etsy for updates on this.
I also want to thank everyone for comments that you've left me.  I've been so busy I haven't had time to check my comments or read other blogs.  I apologize.  I hope to catch up soon. 

Feeling Bad About a Good Day

The day went well with the grandsons yesterday, I thought.  They are always so excited when I or we (My Bob and I) pick them up from pre-school.  Yesterday Bob and I went together so that we could stop at Lowe's and measure that fireplace.  Bob thinks it will fit into Dad's Jeep Cherokee.  Haven't had the time yet to go back and get it. 
So on the drive back home we discussed lunch ideas with the boys and decided on peanut butter and jelly for Landen and scrambled eggs for Logan with jello and fruit for both. 
As promised, Bob helped build the tinker toy airplanes.

 Then since they ate a very good lunch we baked our chocolate chip cookies with halloween sprinkles.

We had so much fun and I let them eat two each. 

They played with their new airplanes for about the next hour or so before their Mom came to pick them up about 5:00.  They showed her their airplanes and we packed up some cookies to take home.

I thought the day went very well.  Then DIL called me from her cell phone on her way home and asked if they took a nap.  I told her they didn't because we were busy and having fun and honestly I didn't even think about it.  They didn't seem tired to me.  Well, Landen fell asleep in her car on the 15 minute ride home and she was upset because he should have had a nap and now he was going to be cranky the rest of the evening and probably wouldn't go to bed very well at bedtime. 

Well I'm sorry.  I feel bad, but I was also upset.  Didn't tell her that.  I just said I would be sure they had naps the next time.  For crying out loud! 
I don't know why this upset me so bad, but it did.  My Bob was mad, too, because the boys had a great time with us and vice versa, but he tried to calm me down and told me it was no big deal.  I knowwwww - BUT!!!

I have the boys Thursday this week and Monday next week and then DIL is done working. 

We'll see how that goes!