Easter, Spring, and a New Awakening

Landen
Logan

We had a very nice Easter with family and friends. My cousin, Brad, and his family were here from Harrisburg. I enjoy the talks I have with Jane, Brad's wife. She's so intelligent and insightful. Saturday night was spent with a few of my good girlfriends that I also admire and gain so much wisdom from. It seemed to be a theme for the weekend: talking to women I really respect and collecting new thoughts and new strategies for dealing with some "issues" I have right now. My girlfriend, Paula, offered me the most helpful advice. First of all, set boundaries for yourself and let those boundaries be known. Secondly, identify problem ownership.
Now here is the reason this advice was so helpful. My son, Austin, will be starting his new career and job next week as an Air Force Recruiter. He is very excited and this is good news. His wife , Melissa, also currently works in a metal manufacturing plant. They have two boys, ages 3 & 4. The problem now arising is that they will no longer qualify for day care assistance due to their increased income. Melissa planned on going part time or even not working at all to stay home with the boys. But she was planning to do this in about 6 months. Logan is in pre-school every morning, so he was in day care each afternoon and Landen was in day care all day. Melissa was explaining this new situation to me over the phone on Thursday right before they left for New York to visit her family for Easter. She commented that she did not really want to stay home all day with the boys, but they would not be able to afford day care. I shouldn't say that, they could afford it, but it would take most of her pay. I felt like I am supposed to offer to keep the boys every day. That's what a good grandma does, right? But I kept these thoughts to myself as Melissa talked and told her something would work out. Then I called my friends. I don't want to be a full time day care, even if it's for my own grandchildren. I will help in any way I can, short of being their full time care giver. I want to be grandma, with my own life, my own work, my choice of what I decide to do with my life each and every day. I have worked for and earned this right. Am I being selfish? Probably. But these are my boundaries. I am no longer a full time caregiver to children. Been there, done that. I love my children and grandchildren beyond measure. But their lives, and their children, and how they choose to make all that work, is no longer my problem. I will always "be there" for all of them to talk to, for advice, to complain to, to ask questions of, to physically help when I'm available, but it is no longer my responsibility. This realization was hard for me and I'm sure I will need to be reminded of this often, but my mental health and happiness depends on it.
So thank you to Jane, Paula, Francey and Cheryl. You all make my life better.

Beautiful Spring Day and The Circle of Life

The sun is shining and the birds are singing. Days like this make me feel so good and seem to make such a difference in mood, health, and ability to "deal". So why don't we all live where there's more sunshine? Western Pennsylvania is beautiful on days like this, but we just don't have enough of them. And maybe I wouldn't appreciate them so much if they were more frequent.

I'm also alone in my house right now and that doesn't seem to happen too often lately, either. As much as I love my family being close enough to "pop in", anyone that knows me knows that I savor my alone time. I think this is much more a "woman thing". My husband works from home and really doesn't care that much to be alone for very long.

We are very lucky to have five generations of our family living in our small town. The down fall is - we have five generations of family living in our small town. They call my generation the sandwich generation. I am the middle of a double decker sandwich. My parents, ages 70 and 71, live right down the road, and my grandparents, ages 92 and 93, live in an Assisted Living Village, about 7 miles from me. Then I have my 28 year old son and his family also living in town about 7 miles away, and my new daughter in law living with us while my younger son , Brandon, is away at Air Force Basic Training in San Antonio. My oldest son, Austin, has 2 sons ages 3 and 4. Bob and I have them visit and stay with us quite often. We are very lucky, indeed, and it's all nice, especially when everyone is healthy, well, happy and content. But all the stars are not perfectly aligned most of the time, and then you just want to cry, "Calgon, take me away".

Our issue today is Grandma and Grandpa. Grandma is very frail and weak physically and can't do anything for herself. Mentally she is very sharp. Grandpa, on the other hand, is fairly strong physically, but losing mental capacity. He's confused and forgetful. They've been married for 72 years. Well, on Monday night, Grandpa fainted in the bathroom, along with a sudden loss of bodily function. So the ambulance arrived, and after kissing Grandma on the forehead and telling her he thought he was dying, he was taken to the hospital. It was determined he was anemic and for some reason his blood pressure plummeted. He was given IV's and blood and went back home last night. Grandpa really is not able to help Grandma with all of her needs, but she wanted him back with her. Grandpa made sure that Grandma was told that he loved her when he was in the hospital. It's all very touching, but very sad. My mother and I take turns going to the Village to feed Grandma her lunch, wash her a little, comb her hair, and anything else she may need. She really needs to go into the Nursing Home where she can get the extended care that she needs. By having them make this move, they will leave their little 3 room apartment, nicely furnished and private, and move into a sterile, hospital room type environment. What to do? This is very sad and difficult to witness.

Since they are in my thoughts so much right now, I am reminded of what wonderful grandparents and role models they were for me, especially when I was a young mother. I learned so much from Grandma as far as being a good wife, being a good mother, keeping a nice house, and always being loving and there for us. Now that I'm a grandmother of two boys, I think, "what would Grandma have done", many times. And I'm still amazed when I think of how perfect she kept her house. I try to do everything the way she did, but I feel I still never get it quite as perfect as she did. And now --- she thanks me for taking care of her. I'm so lucky to have had them so long in my life, but yet it's been so hard lately to compare what is with what was. The Circle of Life!! A blessing that's not always easy.

Deep Dish Chicken Pot Pie

Recipe used for my son's birthday dinner last night:

Deep Dish Chicken Pot Pie

l lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1 in. pieces
1/4 cup Kraft Light Zesty Italian Dressing
4 oz. Philadelphia cream cheese, cubed
2 T. flour
1/2 cup fat-free reduced sodium chicken broth
1 pkg. (10 oz) frozen mixed vegetables, thawed
1 refrigerated pie crust (I use 2)

Heat over to 375. Cook chicken in dressing in large skillet on medium heat 2 min. Add cream cheese; cook and stir until melted. Add flour; mix well. Add broth and vegetables; simmer 5 min.
Pour mixture into deep dish pie crust. Arrange 2nd pie crust over filling; flute edges. Cut 4 slits in crust to allow steam to escape.
Bake 30 min. or until crust is golden brown.
ENJOY!! You're welcome! http://kraftfoods.com/

What Am I About?

I have so many things and thoughts in my head I would like to share. As a fairly young, modern, grandmother, I feel I have some wit and wisdom that others may be interested in, or you probably have thoughts and ideas of your own to share. As a 51 year old female from the baby boom generation, there are so many women out there that can relate to me and me to them and our voice isn't one that's heard. Sure, there are the women celebrities whose voices we hear all the time, but I don't feel they are able to relate to the real world and real life. They are all treated and looked upon as experts in different areas such as being a mother, homemaking, organizing, decorating, fitness and exercise, etc. But when you have nannies, maids, professional decorators, gardeners, personal trainers, and excess money to do it all, how is this real life? We need to hear from real women, with real issues, and we have to figure out how to do on our own with probably limited resources to do it all with.
Having said all that, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Nina Knox and I live on a beautiful lake, Treasure Lake, in DuBois, a small town in Western Pennsylvania . You can read my profile to fill in the blanks. It's April 8, but winter feels like it's still here today. Some snow on the ground and very cold. I have a lot of gardening and outside work I'd like to get started on, but I don't go out in the cold.
Yesterday was my son's (Austin's) 28th birthday. I can't believe he's that old. I don't feel that much older than when he was born. I had a family dinner last night for him. My Mom and Dad; Austin and wife, Melissa, and his 2 sons, Logan and Landen; daughter-in-law, Diana; Bob and I. Austin's choice for dinner was homemade chicken pot pie, salad, biscuits and hot fudge and peanut butter sundaes. It turned out pretty good.
Bob's been getting some bad news about his mother who lives in Harrison, Ohio, outside of Cincinnati. Bob's sisters have been reporting back to him. Mother Millie has some spots on her pancreas and lungs and biopsies were performed yesterday. We're waiting on results and are worried.
I finished a knitted scarf that I was working on. It's a summer scarf that I wanted to make to go with a new skirt that I just got. May wear it for Easter.
And what about American Idol last night? I'm very addicted and love Adam. I think he's very sexy, even though I could be his mother and he's gay. He's still sexy. I think Lil or Scott will be leaving tonight.
*News Flash* - Sun just came out!! WOO HOO!! That feels better.
Gotta get some ironing done. Mostly Bob's shirts. It's hard to keep up with these. Oprah's on in 15 minutes, so that's a good time to iron.
Don't know what to have for dinner. It'll just be me and Bob. Diana (Dee), who lives with us right now, will be having dinner at her grandmother's tonight. So something light and simple sounds good. Maybe an omelette.